*This post is in partnership with buybuy BABY, a brand I love. All opinions here are my own.*
Yesterday, was like any other day in the life of a stay at home mom. We woke up, made breakfast, and got ready. Right before lunch time, Millie came quietly into my room. She looked very uneasy as if I was going to deny her request of whatever she needed at that moment. She softly said “Mom, can you play with me?” And although I had a basket full of laundry, and was in the middle of my ID show, I agreed. She then told me to close my eyes because she had a surprise for me. Without hesitation, she took my hand and was leading me to her room. I decided to pretend to bump into every wall on the way, and we couldn’t stop laughing. At that moment, Millie all of a sudden had a serious face and then started busting in tears. “You made me pee myself!” With all the sudden laughter, came an accident. But, at that moment, I loved the mom I was being. I thought to myself, Why Can’t I be that mom always?
Anxiety. It is a demon I face almost daily. I have my good days, and I certainly have my bad ones, too. But with all of that, there is a part of me that tries hard to ignore it because I want to be the best mom I could be for my children. I have so much guilt that overweighs me knowing that my kids wake up every morning not knowing what mom they will be getting. And with every action, there is a consequence, and I have that power to make it a good one or bad.
I didn’t start dealing with Anxiety until recently last year, and although I rarely talk about it, or like to admit it. It’s a problem, and that problem affects my children. I dream that one day I will wake up and feel normal, but it’s not going to happen. I need to focus on controlling my thoughts and overthinking situations. I’m learning to control my anxiety and not let it affect the mother I want so badly to be for my children.
Dealing with this new found part of me won’t be easy. There are days where I am hard on myself for feeling the way I am feeling, but for those who deal with Anxiety need to understand that anxiety isn’t something you choose to feel. It’s real. It’s ok to have bad days, we all do. It’s ok to be sad, to feel lonely, or just to stay quiet. Anxiety can be exhausting; I feel like I need sleep all the time. You need to make sure there is time for you, to relax, to rest. It’s ok to cry; it’s ok to ask for help. You’re not alone.
There will come a day when your gray skies turn blue. When the sun will shine, and that smile that’s on your face is genuine. Take it one day at a time, and never lose sight of why you live your life. Your children need the better side of you. They need you.
Currently, I’m struggling with transitioning Xander into his nursery. The sleepless nights have been rough, and co-sleeping is the only thing that settles my nerves. I never thought I would be the one struggling with this transition. But I am thankful for the many items out there, like this baby monitor, that helps me put some of my worries aside. All the thoughts of something happening to Xander while he is asleep scare me. I feel so far away, and helpless. It’s awesome knowing that I can take care of myself, along with doing what’s best for my child. This baby monitor may not solve my anxiety, but It helps when I’m feeling anxious for the new chapter in our lives. I am grateful for companies like
I am grateful for companies like buybuy BABY, that offer a variety of baby products to make shopping a whole lot easier for moms like myself, that feel overwhelmed. I purchased the Levana® Astra 3.5″ Video Monitor– Which has features of zoom camera control, 3 lullabies, and invisible night vision LED lights. The battery life is up to 48 hours, too.