For my close family and friends, this has been no secret that the last few weeks I have been dealing with moments of depression and anxiety during this pregnancy. It’s been pretty embarrassing for me to admit because I have always been so happy and have always seemed to have myself together as a mother and wife. But recently I have not been myself; I try to cover up a lot of my emotions and ignore the fact that every day has been a struggle for me as a mama and wife. Most days I’m happy, I’m unmotivated to get most housework done, but I’m happy. But at night I seem to get a sense of an overwhelming feeling that leaves me feeling empty and alone, which has been hard because my heart has always been so full, I know I am blessed, and I love life.
Not only have these feelings been shutting out my husband and kids, but it has left me feeling undefeated and scared that I am not ready to have another child. I feel useless and honestly just an overall bad mom and wife. Dinners are rarely made, my laundry hardly done, and if it weren’t for my husband, my kids wouldn’t get bathed as often. There are just some days I can’t get out of bed, and I feel so unmotivated to do anything.
I always knew there was such thing as postpartum depression, and how it affects more than 20% of women. Thankfully I have never had postpartum after any of my births, and I never knew that depression and anxiety were so common during pregnancy. It scares me because I know I’m most likely to be affected by postpartum as well.
I finally decided to research more into how to help myself get out of this darkness because I know if I consult my doctor, she will prescribe me an antidepressant. I’m not against these as I know many people who it has helped wonders, but my deepest fear is I’ll need to be dependent on antidepressants, and that is the last thing I would want. So, I decided to research on ways to lift up my spirits, and indeed help me feel better about myself on a day to day basis. I’m not going to lie and say I’m all the better because there are days where I just can’t handle life. But, I know If I keep installing these techniques, I will get better in time.
I remember calling my mom one night crying to her saying that I couldn’t handle my everyday life and that my heart just wouldn’t stop hurting. I told her I was scared for when the baby was going to get here because I knew I was still going to feel this way, and not be able to handle a newborn. I remember telling her I’m going to lose myself, and I’m scared. The only thing she said to me was “If you keep telling yourself this, and thinking this way, it’s going to happen. Be confident, and know who you truly are. You’re a beautiful mother; your kids need you, and so does your husband.” This set off a switch because I knew she was right. I need to keep myself thinking positive, or else I will never get over this feeling. If I keep telling myself “I got this,” I will eventually feel confident enough and know I GOT THIS.
TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS
One of my biggest problems right now is keeping all my emotions to myself. My husband will come home, and be clueless to what I’m feeling, and it aggravates me when I don’t see him giving me the attention I want. I often hear him tell me “What can I do to help you?” or “What’s wrong?” I even hear him often ask me “What did I do to make you so mad/sad?” and to be honest, I have so many emotions, all he needs to do is place his wallet and keys on the counter, and it will set out all these emotions. This has put an enormous strain on our marriage. I expect him to read my mind, and I expect so much from him, and it still isn’t good enough. I have learned the past few times when I’m feeling overwhelmed that if I tell him, I need a break. He knows to keep the kids occupied so I can gather my thoughts and relax. He has been so helpful, and I know it’s because I have been expressing to him exactly how I have been feeling. The nights where I am feeling alone and empty, I have turned to him, and it has made me sleep easier at night. Communication with your loved ones help tremendously, and I’m thankful to have a loving, non-judging husband to help me when I need him the most.
MAKE SURE TO GET A LOT OF REST
The other day, my mother in law told me ” You aren’t getting enough rest.” Which kind of threw me off, because I’ve been spending most my days in bed, and I nap about two times a day now, or whenever I can. So I felt that I am already super lazy, how much more rest do I need? Until recently, I felt like even though I was laying in bed, and my eyes are shut, doesn’t mean my mind turns off. I am constantly thinking of all the things I need to get done, and with all of that I hardly “REST.” I lay down, but my mind keeps going, and it boosts up a lot of anxiety and unnerving feelings. I have found that using my lavender essential oils, and drinking lavender teas throughout the day has helped me relax and not bombard myself with so many things to think about.
USE ESSENTIAL OILS
I have been using a few of my favorite pregnancy oils to help me put my hormone balance back into place, and yes they have been working. The biggest help has been my “Happy Mama Blend.” It contains Wild Orange, Lavender, Ylang Ylang, & Sandalwood for soothing Anxiety and Stress. When I received it, I honestly never thought I would need it, but using it 3-4 times a day has kept me a little calmer and has helped with the anxiety feeling I have been getting. Learn more about the oils I take during this pregnancy HERE
EAT HEALTHIER AND GET MORE EXCERCISE
I don’t often eat healthy because I have the biggest sweet tooth ever. But I have heard a healthy and balanced meal with fish and seafood as it contains omega-3 fatty acids that work wonders regarding reducing depression. I have been going for walks nightly now that the weather has cooled down, and it has helped clear my mind off things as well. Having a bit of fresh air, when you are feeling overwhelmed will contribute to reducing stress.
A lot of pregnant women aren’t aware of the benefits of Essential Oils during pregnancy, and how much it could help you on a day to day basis- Sleeping, body aches, depression, etc.
For more information on oils contact Lindsay directly at firstname.lastname@example.org