A few months ago, Millie who is four, asked me if she could take a shower with me. Although it was a strange question to ask because I haven’t showered with her since she was a baby, I agreed. I wanted to make it fun, so I put my bathing suit on, grabbed my Bluetooth speaker, and turned on Gwen Stefani super loud! At that moment, I glimpsed in the mirror, and we were both dancing so silly. It was definitely a mom moment. A mom moment that I knew would forever change me. Seeing Millie shake her little toosh, all while grabbing the extra skin on her stomach, and making funny face made me feel so happy because At that moment I saw the innocence of a little girl. One who didn’t care about the way she looked, or who was watching. One who had pure happiness in her heart, and was really enjoying her time with her mama.
If I could freeze time, I would. And to be completely honest with you, it’s Because I’m scared to hear about what might happen in the future. You know that stage where boys start to notice you, and you start to see yourself too. It all starts when you want that shirt you saw one of your favorite actress wearing, the same purse your friend has, that hair style that is “in,” when you start wanting to wear makeup and shave your legs, or worst when you want to lose weight. Yes, that stage. I think we have all gone through it. But, how do we mentally prepare for our daughters to go through the same thing, too? Body shaming is the number one cause of Eating Disorders. I mean, How often do you look at yourself in the mirror and say “AH, I’m fat!” Well, for me, It’s often enough that I have heard my kids use the word “fat” too.
My biggest weakness is trying to protect my children from the cruel outside world. Ugh, I know it’s almost impossible, but It just hurts my mama’s heart to see my kids “trying to fit in.” I often question myself, Am I doing enough?
Self Confidence has come and gone all while growing up. I remember going into my sophomore year of high school and thinking I was “fat.” I remember seeing my friends, and they were skinnier than me. Mind you; I was only 115 pounds at the time. But, I remember plenty of times I would go on diets, and most of them weren’t healthy diets either. I remember going home and pretending I wasn’t hungry or weighing myself up to 4 times a day. It was horrible! And the last thing I want for my little girl is to grow up and be insecure by the way she looks.
As a mom to a little girl, I want nothing but to build my daughters self-confidence Because being a teen can be a scary thing. People influence others to change when they really shouldn’t. So, I’m finding the importance of teaching my daughter to love who she is at an early age. I want nothing more for Millie but to love herself for who she is on the inside, that sweet, caring little girl, who wants to share her things with everyone, except her brother of course. So, in honor of mother’s day, I asked a few of my favorite mommy bloggers to write how or why they find it valuable to instill in their daughters to love their bodies.
I’m really happy to be writing this post and partnering with Kindred Together; it’s an app where you can connect with new mamas based on your personal interest. Kind of like a dating app, but for moms. I mean, how cool right? Also, with Kortni Jeane, where you can find the most adorable mommy and me swim suits. I’m not kidding; they’re A D O R A B L E.
“I want my daughters to grow up loving exactly the way God created them. With every imperfect part of their perfect little selves. Their ins and outs, scars and birthmarks, body build and hair texture. With every curve and shape of their delicate little faces, I want them to embrace precisely how they are. Each unique in their own way. And then I stand there looking in the mirror, disgusted look on my face and I squeeze my jeans on, mumbling about calories and dieting and release my gaze to see my lovely girls observing my actions and words.
It starts with me. Loving exactly who I am and taking care of this vessel I’ve been given, and loving this body I have. I get to be the example of beauty and love to my daughters and pass on the grace and strength of a confident woman to them.
They are imperfectly perfect. Gloriously shaped and created. No piece of them is out of place or needs improvement. I want them to shine and relish in the very form they were made in. My prayer is that their perception of body image is not shaped by the world’s view but by God’s. And that when they look in the mirror, they truly love what they see.”
“As a mother, I definitely think it’s so important to instill positive body image and acceptance at a young age. With so many societal pressures out there in the real world and in social media, sometimes it’s really hard to not get caught up in a constant state of wanting “perfection”. Because actually we are all perfect in our own ways, even though everyone is different. I think that as a mother to a young girl, being a role model and not judging others will come a long way as your little girl looks up to you.”
“Growing up I was always small until I hit that stage…you know the one I’m talking about. The one where your entire body changes, you start eating more and as you get older, you start becoming less active – between elementary and middle school. I grew out of it pretty quickly, but that didn’t stop me from having the pounds creep on…and then fall back off in high school. I have struggled with my body and my weight most of my life. I’m still not where I want to be, but that’s okay. I am still SO happy with where I am. I love who I am, and I love my body. I love that I was able to grow a baby and nourish her. I wouldn’t trade those curves for anything. But the last thing I ever want Leighton to deal with is her body and self-image. We are all different shapes and sizes, and we should be. Who wants to see everyone look exactly the same?! One of the reasons I started my blog 5 years ago was to get more comfortable in my own skin, really put myself out there and challenge myself to take risks. Risks in life and risks in fashion. And I think this is such a great message to have for anyone, especially my daughter, Leighton. I want her to know that we are all different and beautiful, and she should always love herself first. The beautiful person who she is is exactly who she is supposed to be. “
“Now that I have a daughter, I want to be her biggest example. I don’t ever want her to have a body complex, nor feel inadequate or compare herself to someone else thinking she needs to have their body. I want her and every girl that is reading this, to value your health. I want you to respect your body and ensure that they are respected by others. I want you to be the best versions of yourselves and be physically, emotionally and spiritually strong.
You see, excuses ain’t cute, but confidence is. I want you to look in the mirror every night, tell yourself that you are enough, beautiful and strong. Rock whatever body shape you have, don’t let social media tell you what you should look like. Who cares if you’re too curvy, too tall, too short, too skinny or too muscly (is that a word)?”